Joel Osteen: So Sweet He’ll Give You a Toothache

I was perusing Twitter and found this little lump of sugar from Joel Osteen:

(Online source.)

Now, that’s deep.

He has the largest church in America; he pulls in an audience of 35,000 corporately and millions across the earth, and this is all he has?!?!  What exactly does that mean, anyway?  I’m not an accident?  Who said I was?  I didn’t wake up this morning and say, “Daggone it, I can’t go to work today.  I’m an accident.”  What I did say was, “Oh, no!  I can’t believe I slept through the alarm… I’m gonna be late!!!”  But, I digress…

Just think about this, gang – Osteen has the largest church in the country… that’s right… his syrupy-sweet message attracts that many people.  Think that’s an accident?  Think again.  This is hard evidence of the lateness of the day and hour.  What Osteen’s message does is make sinners die happy sinners.  Give me a message that cuts me to my heart and brings me to my knees!

I’ll take that any day!

As I browsed his Twitter feed, I found an interesting exchange between Osteen and a gentleman named Peter.  Well, I don’t know if you could actually call it an exchange – Osteen tweeted, Peter responded, and Osteen did not respond back, which leads me to believe someone may do his tweeting for him.  But, as I was saying, it wasn’t much of a conversation, but I found it amusing.  Check it out:

(Online Source.)

Given the message Osteen preaches, Peter is perfectly reasonable to ask for $100,000 in small bills.  Osteen says it works… I’m wondering if Peter received that “increase” yet.

Nah, most likely not.  I’m thinking Peter didn’t expect it either.

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7 Responses to Joel Osteen: So Sweet He’ll Give You a Toothache

  1. stannj51 says:

    When I used to get Benny Hinn junk mail, I sent their donation form back with a request for a donation from him to me and our little fellowship. I tell him you will get up to a hundred-fold back so give the best you can. I even referenced a great verse, one I’ve heard him use. Mysteriously, the junk mail stopped. And no best offering ever arrived. Is he that much against getting a blessing from the Lord?

    I hope Joel realizes he’d be missing out on up to 10 million dollars by not giving Peter with the backwards-R his $100,000 demand. He should think of his wife and his little family before turning down such a sure-fire investment. What a testimony he could give on the next broadcast when the millions came in from that act of faith. He would be flooded with many similar opportunities from all over his viewing audience nearly immediately. His already huge church would grow 30,60 or even 100-fold in less than a week following that broadcast! Think Joel before you turn it down. You too Benny.

    Stan

  2. Robert L. says:

    I like what Greg Laurie said :

    ” Yet some have believed what I would describe as a watered-down version of the gospel, a gospel that promises forgiveness but rarely mentions the need to repent of your sin, a gospel that promises peace but never warns of persecution, a gospel that says God wants you to be healthy and wealthy and never have any problems to speak of, a gospel that says you will so find the favor of God that a parking space always will be available for you. But that is not the gospel of the New Testament.
    The Christian life is not a playground, but a battleground. Not only is there a God who loves you and has a plan for your life, but there is also a devil who hates you and opposes God’s plan.
    I am not suggesting that once you become a Christian, you will be sick, poor, and miserable. But the essence of the Christian life is knowing and walking with God. It is about sticking with Him when the sky is blue and also when it is filled with clouds. It is about pressing on. Jesus made it clear that storms will enter every life. But as we seek to know and follow Christ, we will find happiness as a fringe benefit. “

  3. LastManStanding says:

    I know you guys like Peter with the backwards R… Did you like that he mocked the KANG James Bible? Or were you so giddy over his attack on Osteen that your little pea brains miss that?

    • I didn’t say I liked Peter, but I do like the request he made of Joel Osteen.

      Furthermore, my pea brain doesn’t think it wants to let you post here anymore.

    • stannj51 says:

      Dear LMS, I am more concerned with professing believers who cannot see through Joel Osteen and his ilk rather than people who cannot spell correctly.
      Stan

  4. Tom says:

    He’s a cotton candy preacher, taste good but no substance.

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